Nervous System Regulation is my Destination

Working on getting my nervous system under control

so off balance I don’t even feel whole

This is some type of metamorphosis except I am wide awake for the transition

I feel all the grief, all the pain

And questions arise, such as – has my life been lived in vain?

Sacrificial tendencies of putting others before me

has brought me to the edge of where I thought happiness would be

yet instead, it’s loneliness from being misunderstood

Loved others how I wanted to be loved and became consumed in a dream state of falsehood

Now here I am once again with my heart in my hand…

Wondering why I feel lack of love from others

then reality hits… I have been repeating tendencies of my mother

Both experienced and learned habits from observation

The solution I have come to is my only form of restoration

Which is to love myself like I have done in the past but in a new way

because the core of who I am is not based on yesterday

It is here and now

no matter what happens I subconsciously know how

To love myself so deep that all I see is ME

And right now, I am under the light of nervous system regulation

This is MY last hope of happiness which is my true destination

Though it is not a place to stop once I find it

It’s going through ups and downs and being fine with it

I understand who I am so I am acting act accordingly

At the end of it all winning is simply loving me for me.

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