Dear Diary Edition: Self-love; Who You Are by @JonJorgenson
I seek to find inspiration in everything, even in the pains of life. I am opening up in a new way with this Dear Diary Edition, getting more personal in order to reach those who need these words. This is for women who need to understand they are not alone and that it's a stepping stone, not the end. I have spent a little over a year digging deep inside and am happy to share this part of my journey. Enjoy!
(Disclaimer: This post is not meant to take away from men or make them seem unimportant, it is simply meant to focus on women. I am a woman and I have been led to speak to my sisters of all colors, shapes and sizes)
I know I struggled growing up with not being "black enough" and people not believing that neither of my parents were white. I had to constantly correct people and the fact that I speak proper didn't help. My question always was, why does it matter how light I am? I am still BLACK and that is never going to change! Then other things came along such as not being tall enough, not being slim enough, not having long enough hair or the newest trends in clothing. It's ridiculous how people can break someone down and name so many things that they see wrong, completely ignoring the fact that the inside is what defines you not the outside. The truth of the matter is this, if I was supposed to be darker or taller (etc.) then that is how I would have been created! Accepting the fact that we are who we are is something that can be very difficult especially after so many years of being told we aren't good enough. Even if it is not believed, after a certain amount of times hearing the negative things in that regard (due to conditioned thinking) it makes you question whether or not these things are really true. Much of society lacks the capability to look at a person for who they are and not focus so much on how they look. Now don't get me wrong, physical attraction is not null and void, it does play into attraction but there is a thin line between recognizing outer beauty and being flat out shallow.
From my experiences it seems men handle these things better than women or at least they pretend to do so. I have known plenty of men that would admit to not being attractive and not care at all about it. They would say "yea my left eye is lazy oh well" however, for many women it is different. We pick ourselves apart, we look at other women who seem to attract attention and feel we aren't as good as they are, that is just not true. Beauty is so much deeper than the outside and many people who are beautiful on the outside are not as beautiful on the inside. So do not be fooled into thinking because someone is physically attractive that they are better than anyone else or that they will be better than anyone else because what is on the outside has nothing to do with what is on the inside! Do not be distracted by what the eye sees but focus on what your spirit is telling you.
It really is heartbreaking that society is so hard on women and that many of us believe we aren't enough because of this. We are the greatest creation in the entire universe and beyond. We carry life inside of us, we nurture, our bodies go through things that a man would never be able to imagine, yet we allow them to dictate how we feel about ourselves. I will not say I have never judged someone by their looks but I will say that I grew to understand the only reason I was judging people is because I was judged. Being picked apart can make you feel as though you have to be just as critical of others but you don't have to be that way. I believed it was OK to make assumptions based on what society showed me. Now, it saddens my heart when someone feels so negative about how they look, it is a deeper problem than just telling yourself that you are beautiful, you have to actually believe it. People get bullied because of this, they hurt others and themselves, it is just unacceptable. If we grow up knowing love and to love ourselves and everyone else then we wouldn't face these problems, unfortunately that is not the case and we must "relearn" the way to operate in that sense. We have to uplift just not one another but also ourselves and stop promoting self-hate.We are all hurting and healing.
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If you take nothing else from this post, please remember that no matter what anyone tells you, I promise, you are beautiful! You are beautiful and once you understand and embrace that factyou will shine beautifully on the outside!
Dear Jon,
My sister (thank you Nika!) sent me this video a day after I expressed my lack of love for myself from the stress I've endured these past few years and from all of the changes my body has went through after having a child earlier this year. I would be in the bathroom washing my hands in front of a huge mirror but wouldn't look at myself and when I did I would point out my flaws. I knew I was beautiful I just lost sight. I wasn't feeling beautiful because I was letting circumstances define who I was. Allowing someone to treat me less than I was made me feel I was less and therefore I saw less in the mirror. I realized I lost myself somewhere. A whole new level of lost.
After the first time I watched your video I continued to watch it over and over again, over 15 times. I watched it until I felt empowered instead of saddened. I continue to watch it every day.
Thank you for being an uplifting light in this world, I have read many comments on this video as I am sure you have as well. You know how impactful this video has been but you still have no idea what you have done for women around the world, even me. Your words have helped in the process of breaking something inside of me that I could never have imagined happening all from a 3 1/2 minute video. Thank you for allowing the creators will to be done through your words, spreading love is so necessary and I pray that you continue to be given the strength and courage to keep doing so.
With much love and gratitude,
Peaches💜
Thanks for reading!
*kisses
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