Relationship Problems

For most there is no trust anymore. I wonder if there never was trust but before it was just harder to tell?
These days people do not want to put their heart and feelings on the line. Preconceived ideas are birthed and set before even allowing a person to show who they truly are. The idea all men cheat or most women are overly promiscuous is ranked higher than beliefs that there are faithful people who walk in good action. When most of the people you know cheat or allow themselves to be involved with someone in a relationship, it is easy to believe that is just the way things work now. The question of monogamy being something we were created to practice is an ongoing conversation that many believe to not be the truth. Is it possible to be with one person for more than half of your life and never step outside of that relationship? Is it possible to keep a healthy happy momentum with someone you watched go from youthful and vibrant to old an boring? There are so many questions that I presume will never be answered as factual because we all have our own minds. We all believe in different things and understand how our life should be in different ways. I believe one of the biggest problems with relationships is that every one is seeking guidance from others who do not have to be in their relationship. How can someone tell you that something is not right or you should not do something when they are not the one that has to deal with the outcome? There are some who don't mind if their partner steps out of their relationship as long as they are honest and protected while doing so. There are some who would never allow such a thing to happen and even would go as far to warn an individual of ending a relationship if it does happen. We create the environment for the relationship we want with someone by putting expectations into the atmosphere, applying pressure if you will. Instead of discussing things and understanding what a persons wants and needs there is a tendency to get into situations and apply those wants and needs after the fact. Ultimately the lack of discussion in the beginning becomes an issue as time goes on and previous habits remain and new ones form. It's all about communication and honesty. I believe if people were actually honest there would be a better understanding. Practice speaking on what you need in order to feel comfortable being in a relationship with someone instead of assuming they can read you well enough to know.. If you decide to give someone a pass or lower the value on what you need, then you cannot get angry at the other person when they are not satisfying you. I am no relationship expert by any means but I do understand that communication is so important. If you do not feel free to express yourself to someone then why would you choose to be in a relationship? You should never feel silenced or slighted. We tend to make excuses when we love someone but no matter how pretty we try to paint a picture for someone else's eyes, we ultimately have to suffer in silence. You can fool everyone but you cannot fool yourself. At the end of the day it really isn't anyone's business and instead of pretending, you can always digress on giving too much information. When we discuss our issues we can become confused while everyone is stating what they would do but they do not share your same mindset. I have learned that there are people who can take a reasonable stance when discussing relationship issues but most get into their own feelings instead of speaking on the facts in which you are dealing with. My momma always told me to deal with the facts over feelings and I get it more than ever now.

I hope that there was a message for you in this scribe and that you understand how important you are. Never let someone half love you or make you feel you are not good enough because you are EVERYTHING!

Thanks for reading!

*kisses